There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives...
The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, 'Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat.'
He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered.
As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.
The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, 'Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!'
Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The
teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All
the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is
wonderful . But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie.
She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. You've done enough, you klutz!'
Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and
whispers, 'You did that on purpose, didn't you?'
Susie whispers back, 'I wet my pants once too..'
1.24.2010
Wet Pants
1.14.2010
Reality Bites
I know it hurts to no longer be loved by the one you love
I know it hurts to no longer be wanted by the one
Who used to worship the ground you walk upon.
I know it hurts to be dumped by the one who used to
Follow you like a lovesick puppy around town.
But denial will not help you get through
this crisis in your life.
It is difficult to accept that you are no longer wanted,
that you are no longer thought of,
that you are no longer missed.
It is easier to fool yourself into thinking that he still
thinks of you day and night,
that he busies himself daily
Devising strategies to bring you back and that only
his many pride is stopping him from
taking you in his arms.
But please wake up …
Misinterpreting his words and actions, concocting wild
theories about why he still hasn’t picked up the
phone to call you
Closing your eyes to the fact that he is already
seeing someone else, won’t bring him back
It hurts, I know, but it’s time to face the truth:
“you are no longer loved”.
It’s over! It was over long before it ended
And you know it. But you pretended.
And so did he.
But the time for pretense is long gone past.
It’s time to face up the cold, hard facts.
It’s time to start picking up the pieces of your life.
It’s time to stop lying to your self.
So stop making ridiculous excuses to pick up the phone to call him.
Stop driving by his place in the hope that you may
Accidentally catch a glimpse of him.
Stop fantasizing about having his children.
You’re only torturing yourself.
And stop saying, “I just want to be his friend”
You don’t want to be his friend.
You know it. He knows it.
And so does everyone else.
So stop selling this story.
No one’s buying it.
For if you really wanted to be his friend,
You would already been his friend a long time ago.
The day you officially parted, in fact.
But care to take a guess why he still avoids you like the plague?
Because you’re not very convincing,
If you wanted to be his friend, you would leave him alone.
You would stop monitoring his movements.
You would stop tracking him around town
These are not really the overtures of a concerned friend.
It’s more of a scheming ex-girlfriend plotting a
Romantic reunification.
You really wanted to be his friend?
As a gesture of good faith, give the guy some breathing space.
Stop looking around his neighborhood.
Stop interrogating his friends.
Stop offering yourself as a present.
It’s over. He’s not coming back. Or haven’t you realized it yet?
Hope springs eternal, I know,
till the day he asks
For God’s blessing and takes a bride.
And it’s your prerogative to wait for him,
Forever if you desire.
But why do this to yourself?
Why subject yourself to such indignities?
Why continue to wait for a man who couldn’t care
Less if you were dead or alive?
Do you think so little of yourself?
Why live for morsels of affection thrown your way
When you could find love in its splendor in another man?
There’s a whole universe of unattached men out there
Who could love you so much better than him.
- let this one go
You deserve to love and be love again
But this cannot happen till the day you let go of him
And live in the present.
Fantasizing delights, I know, and reality bites,
But it’s time to wake up ‘coz you’ve been dreaming too long.
1.11.2010
When I
When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go in the sun, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black.
And you white fella,
When you born, you pink.
When you grow up, you white.
When you go in the sun, you red.
When you cold, you blue.
When you scared, you yellow.
When you sick, you gray…
And you calling me COLORED?
1.10.2010
Requirements
Hold me gently in your arms.
Finger my curls as I sleep.
Dazzle me with your charm.
Provide me time and space.
Listen closely when I speak.
Secure in your life my place.
Support me in times I'm weak.
Cherish our time together.
Dread any time we're apart.
Mean when you say forever.
Let my absence gnaw your heart.
And let all my joys be yours.
Let my sorrows be as well.
And share relationships chores.
Mind your ego, lest it swell.
And I beg you, never fight.
Let us walk our time in peace.
With a kiss for every night.
Let our passion never cease.
But above all these my dove.
Swear always that you'll be true.
For's not you I ask these of -
They're my promises to you.
Christopher (Netpoets)
1.03.2010
A Mystery of Faith
Excerpt from Zadig, A Mystery of Faith (Voltaire)
“What, of all things in the world,
is the longest and the shortest,
the swiftest and the slowest,
the most divisible and the most extended,
the most neglected and the most regretted,
without which nothing can be done,
which devours all that is little and enlivens all that is great?”
Answer: TIME.
Nothing is longer, since it is the measure of eternity.
Nothing is shorter, since it is insufficient for the accomplishment of our projects.
Nothing is more slow to him that expects; nothing more rapid to him that enjoys.
In greatness, it extends to infinity; in smallness, it is infinitely divisible.
All men neglect it; all regret the loss of it; nothing can be done without it.
It consigns to oblivion whatever is unworthy of being transmitted to posterity,
and it immortalizes such actions as are truly great.
11.06.2009
Indarapatra and Sulayman
A LONG, long time ago Mindanao was covered with water, and the sea extended over all the lowlands so that nothing could be seen but mountains. Then there were many people living in the country, and all the highlands were dotted with villages and settlements. For many years the people prospered, living in peace and contentment. Suddenly there appeared in the land four horrible monsters which, in a short time, had devoured every human being they could find.
Kurita, a terrible creature with many limbs, lived partly on land and partly in the sea, but its favorite haunt was the mountain where the rattan grew; and here it brought utter destruction on every living thing. The second monster, Tarabusaw, an ugly creature in the form of a man, lived on Mt. Matutun, and far and wide from that place he devoured the people, laying waste the land. The third, an enormous bird called Pah, [142] was so large that when on the wing it covered the sun and brought darkness to the earth. Its egg was as large as a house. Mt. Bita was its haunt, and there the only people who escaped its voracity were those who hid in caves in the mountains. The fourth monster was a dreadful bird also, having seven heads and the power to see in all directions at the same time. Mt. Gurayn was its home and like the others it wrought havoc in its region.
So great was the death and destruction caused by these terrible animals that at length the news spread even to the most distant lands, and all nations were grieved to hear of the sad fate of Mindanao.
Now far across the sea in the land of the golden sunset was a city so great that to look at its many people would injure the eyes of man. When tidings of these great disasters reached this distant city, the heart of the king Indarapatra [143] was filled with compassion, and he called his brother, Sulayman, [144] begging him to save the land of Mindanao from the monsters.
Sulayman listened to the story, and as he heard he was moved with pity.
"I will go," said he, zeal and enthusiasm adding to his strength, "and the land shall be avenged."
King Indarapatra, proud of his brother's courage, gave him a ring and a sword as he wished him success and safety. Then he placed a young sapling by his window [145] and said to Sulayman:
"By this tree I shall know your fate from the time you depart from here, for if you live, it will live; but if you die, it will die also."
So Sulayman departed for Mindanao, and he neither walked nor used a boat, but he went through the air and landed on the mountain where the rattan grew. There he stood on the summit and gazed about on all sides. He looked on the land and the villages, but he could see no living thing. And he was very sorrowful and cried out:
"Alas, how pitiful and dreadful is this devastation!"
No sooner had Sulayman uttered these words than the whole mountain began to move, and then shook. Suddenly out of the ground came the horrible creature, Kurita. It sprang at the man and sank its claws into his flesh. But Sulayman, knowing at once that this was the scourge of the land, drew his sword and cut the Kurita to pieces.
Encouraged by his first success, Sulayman went on to Mt. Matutun where conditions were even worse. As he stood on the heights viewing the great devastation there was a noise in the forest and a movement in the trees. With a loud yell, forth leaped Tarabusaw. For a moment they looked at each other, neither showing any fear. Then Tarabusaw threatened to devour the man, and Sulayman declared that he would kill the monster. At that the animal broke large branches off the trees and began striking at Sulayman who, in turn, fought back. For a long time the battle continued until at last the monster fell exhausted to the ground and then Sulayman killed him with his sword.
The next place visited by Sulayman was Mt. Bita. Here havoc was present everywhere, and though he passed by many homes, not a single soul was left. As he walked along, growing sadder at each moment, a sudden darkness which startled him fell over the land. As he looked toward the sky he beheld a great bird descending upon him. Immediately he struck at it, cutting off its wing with his sword, and the bird fell dead at his feet; but the wing fell on Sulayman, and he was crushed.
Now at this very time King Indarapatra was sitting at his window, and looking out he saw the little tree wither and dry up.
"Alas!" he cried, "my brother is dead"; and he wept bitterly.
Then although he was very sad, he was filled with a desire for revenge, and putting on his sword and belt he started for Mindanao in search of his brother.
He, too, traveled through the air with great speed until he came to the mountain where the rattan grew. There he looked about, awed at the great destruction, and when he saw the bones of Kurita he knew that his brother had been there and gone. He went on till he came to Matutun, and when he saw the bones of Tarabusaw he knew that this, too, was the work of Sulayman.
Still searching for his brother, he arrived at Mt. Bita where the dead bird lay on the ground, and as he lifted the severed wing he beheld the bones of Sulayman with his sword by his side. His grief now so overwhelmed Indarapatra that he wept for some time. Upon looking up he beheld a small jar of water by his side. This he knew had been sent from heaven, and he poured the water over the bones, and Sulayman came to life again. They greeted each other and talked long together. Sulayman declared that he had not been dead but asleep, and their hearts were full of joy.
After some time Sulayman returned to his distant home, but Indarapatra continued his journey to Mt. Gurayn where he killed the dreadful bird with the seven heads. After these monsters had all been destroyed and peace and safety had been restored to the land, Indarapatra began searching everywhere to see if some of the people might not be hidden in the earth still alive.
One day during his search he caught sight of a beautiful woman at a distance. When he hastened toward her she disappeared through a hole in the ground where she was standing. Disappointed and tired, he sat down on a rock to rest, when, looking about, he saw near him a pot of uncooked rice with a big fire on the ground in front of it. This revived him and he proceeded to cook the rice. As he did so, however, he heard someone laugh near by, and turning he beheld an old woman watching him. As he greeted her, she drew near and talked with him while he ate the rice.
Of all the people in the land, the old woman told him, only a very few were still alive, and they hid in a cave in the ground from whence they never ventured. As for herself and her old husband, she went on, they had hidden in a hollow tree, and this they had never dared leave until after Sulayman killed the voracious bird, Pah.
At Indarapatra's earnest request, the old woman led him to the cave where he found the headman with his family and some of his people. They all gathered about the stranger, asking many questions, for this was the first they had heard about the death of the monsters. When they found what Indarapatra had done for them, they were filled with gratitude, and to show their appreciation the headman gave his daughter to him in marriage, and she proved to be the beautiful girl whom Indarapatra had seen at the mouth of the cave.
Then the people all came out of their hiding-place and returned to their homes where they lived in peace and happiness. And the sea withdrew from the land and gave the lowlands to the people.
9.15.2009
The Best Christmas Ever
WINTER BLIZZARD (2)
“The best Christmas ever?
I remember it well!”
So began the old story
My mother would tell
The familiar old story
We kids love to hear,
Christmas Eve by the fire,
At the end of the year.
“I was eighteen,”
She would smile and say,
“But how well I remember
That one Christmas Day.
On the morning before,
A great storm started blowing,
The air became damp,
And soon, it was snowing.
And then, how it fell,
Flakes just poured from the sky,
Till the drifts piled up
Half a dozen feet high,
The roads became blocked,
Our small airport shut down,
And soon, not a soul
Could escape from the town.
“I remember my father
Reached home around four,
And I saw someone with him
When I opened the door.
A snow-covered stranger,
A guest, I was told,
A young out-of-town lawyer,
Tall! Handsome! – And cold!
A young man from the city,
I heard my father say,
Christmas Eve – he was stranded –
So with us he would stay,
And we’d make his Yule merry.
Or at least we would try,
Till the airport reopened,
And the storm had gone by.
“And then, there began
The best Christmas ever.
Our guest was a dream,
For besides being clever,
And besides being handsome,
He was gentle and shy –
So – I soon fell in love!”
Mother said with a sigh.
“Christmas Eve – Christmas Day –
We spent hours together,
But then I could see
A change in the weather.
The storm had gone past,
It no longer was snowing,
And the following day,
I knew he’d be going.
He’d be off to the city,
He’d be leaving – and then –
I feared that I never
Would see him again.
“Ah, if only, I thought
There was some magic way,
To prevent him from leaving,
To cause a delay.
I was sure that I pleased him,
That was easy to see,
Why, another few days,
And he might fall for me!
Well, I thought and I thought,
But what could I do?
And then, after supper –
Yes, it’s perfectly true –
He said he felt odd,
He confessed he was ill,
One moment so hot,
The next moment, a chill.
Yes, it’s hard to believe,
But it was perfectly true,
That evening our guest
Came down with the flu!
“For a week he stayed with us,
Now better, now worse,
He was so sweet and helpless –
And I was his nurse.
I brought him cold cloths
To put on his head,
I brought him warm soup,
And fluffed up his bed.
Oh, I cared for my patient,
Through each fever attack,
And when he left a week later,
I prayed he’d come back.
Mother paused for a while,
And said nothing more.
She looked at us children.
Sprawled about on the floor.
She gazed at the tree.
All tinseled and bright,
At the wreaths and the fire,
And the holiday night.
Then she said, “Every Christmas
Is special, I know,
But for me, that December
Had a magical glow,
First the hours before Christmas,
And then Christmas day,
The great blizzard that brought us
Together that way,
All the wind and the snow,
And the terrible weather,
Then the last minute flu
That kept us together.”
And she’d look at my father,
And say with a smile,
“I’m so glad you were forced
To remain for a while,
The out-of-town stranger,
So handsome and clever,
The sweetheart I found,
On the best Christmas ever.”
8.29.2009
The Prophet
Love
Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them.
And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
Marriage
Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
Children
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Teaching
Then said a teacher, "Speak to us of Teaching."And he said:
No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of our knowledge.
The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple, among his followers, gives not of his wisdom but rather of his faith and his lovingness.
If he is indeed wise he does not bid you enter the house of wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind.
The astronomer may speak to you of his understanding of space, but he cannot give you his understanding.
The musician may sing to you of the rhythm which is in all space, but he cannot give you the ear which arrests the rhythm nor the voice that echoes it.
And he who is versed in the science of numbers can tell of the regions of weight and measure, but he cannot conduct you thither.
For the vision of one man lends not its wings to another man.
And even as each one of you stands alone in God's knowledge, so must each one of you be alone in his knowledge of God and in his understanding of the earth.
8.28.2009
Time
Excerpt from Zadig, A Mystery of Faith (Voltaire)
“What, of all things in the world,
is the longest and the shortest,
the swiftest and the slowest,
the most divisible and the most extended,
the most neglected and the most regretted,
without which nothing can be done,
which devours all that is little and enlivens all that is great?”
Answer: TIME.
Nothing is longer, since it is the measure of eternity.
Nothing is shorter, since it is insufficient for the accomplishment of our projects.
Nothing is more slow to him that expects; nothing more rapid to him that enjoys.
In greatness, it extends to infinity; in smallness, it is infinitely divisible.
All men neglect it; all regret the loss of it; nothing can be done without it.
It consigns to oblivion whatever is unworthy of being transmitted to posterity,
and it immortalizes such actions as are truly great.
***Who can argue with such a distinct description?
4.11.2009
God Made
God made the earth, and God made the sky,
God made the fish and the birds that fly
Animals, flowers, trees so tall,
God made everything, big and small
God made all that I can see,
God made you and God made me.
Prayer of the Two Hearts
Dear Lord, you have taught us
the beauty of sharing,
and the pleasure of giving.
And now, you have allowed us
to experience being a part of one’s heart…
a feeling no person can ever explain.
===============
And as we try to build our faith
within our dreams
we ask you to show us the path,
so that we may lead a life in your name.
===============
And if you cannot show us the path,
we ask you to give us the light
so we can see your way.
We ask you to let ourselves
understand each other,
so we may understand your words.
===============
And if you cannot give us
enough understanding,
we ask you to give us patience,
so we may see the fruits of your seed.
We ask you to give us strength,
so we may confront trials head on.
===============
And if you cannot give us strength,
we ask you to give us courage,
so we may again rise up as we accept failures.
We ask you to give us peace,
so we may clearly listen to the meaning of true love.
===============
And if you cannot give us peace,
we ask you to give us wisdom,
so we may learn the values of trust.
===============
But most of all,
if one of us should decide to give up,
we ask you to give us hope to dream again,
so we can bring back
the prayer these two hearts has created…
so we again share,
that one dream that once brought us TOGETHER.
In The Beginning
and there was light.
God said, let there be life,
and the birds took flight.
God said, let there be stars,
and the stars shone through.
God said, let there be love,
and there was you.
(Ron Cornell of Netpoets)
1.25.2009
Obama's Letter for His Children
Dear Malia and Sasha,
I know that you've both had a lot of fun these last two years on the campaign trail, going to picnics and parades and state fairs, eating all sorts of junk food your mother and I probably shouldn't have let you have. But I also know that it hasn't always been easy for you and Mom, and that as excited as you both are about that new puppy, it doesn't make up for all the time we've been apart. I know how much I've missed these past two years, and today I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey.

When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me—about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that's why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation.

I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential—schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college—even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity.
I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you'll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other.
Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country—but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free—that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility.

That was the lesson your grandmother tried to teach me when I was your age, reading me the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and telling me about the men and women who marched for equality because they believed those words put to paper two centuries ago should mean something.
She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better—and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It's a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be.
I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you've had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much—although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.
These are the things I want for you—to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That's why I've taken our family on this great adventure.
I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace, and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House.
Love, Dad

===
He really have a way with words...his charisma is sooo evident! Here's a link to his speeches!